Cards for people
who get it.

Pick a card. Send it. Make someone's day weirder.

I like my banana stiff and with a twist.
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I like my banana stiff and with a twist.

Romance
Let’s fuck.
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Let’s fuck.

Romance
Happy Halloween! Don't get stabbed.
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Happy Halloween! Don't get stabbed.

Halloween
I like it when you scramble my eggs.
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I like it when you scramble my eggs.

Romance
When you hold my hand, I get an erection.
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When you hold my hand, I get an erection.

Romance
You're not not my best friend.
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You're not not my best friend.

Friendship
That feeling of finding a curly hair in your last bite of pad thai? That's how I want them to feel every day.
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That feeling of finding a curly hair in your last bite of pad thai? That's how I want them to feel every day.

Romance
I hope your new house is haunted
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I hope your new house is haunted

Moving
Just saying hi.
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Just saying hi.

Greeting
I miss you.
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I miss you.

Romance
Here to say hello.
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Here to say hello.

Friendship
Remember that time I accidentally sent you that naked photo of me? Happy World Photo Day!
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Remember that time I accidentally sent you that naked photo of me? Happy World Photo Day!

World Photo Day
Stop being sick.
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Stop being sick.

Support
No biggie.
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No biggie.

Support
It's okay to worry, but you'll be alright.
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It's okay to worry, but you'll be alright.

Support
Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Don't be so hard on yourself.

Support
Happy Halloween to my favorite horror movie buddy!
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Happy Halloween to my favorite horror movie buddy!

Halloween
Halloween movies don't suck.
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Halloween movies don't suck.

Halloween
You made it. Who would have expected that? Happy birthday!
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You made it. Who would have expected that? Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday
Well, you're older and I'm still here.
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Well, you're older and I'm still here.

Happy Birthday
I don't understand how your parents liked each other enough to have sex, but I'm glad they did it at least once.
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I don't understand how your parents liked each other enough to have sex, but I'm glad they did it at least once.

Romance
Happy birthday to the most fuckable person I know.
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Happy birthday to the most fuckable person I know.

Happy Birthday
Happy reminder date when you replied to my creepy message.
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Happy reminder date when you replied to my creepy message.

Friendship
You're still the one that make my panties drop.
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You're still the one that make my panties drop.

Romance
You did it. Again. Congratulations.
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You did it. Again. Congratulations.

Congratulations
Mic drop.
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Mic drop.

Celebration
Congrat-u-fucking-lations!
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Congrat-u-fucking-lations!

Congratulations
You're a better person than me. Thank you.
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You're a better person than me. Thank you.

Thank You
From the bottom of my rotten heart: thank you.
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From the bottom of my rotten heart: thank you.

Thank You
Thank you.
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Thank you.

Thank You
You made that bearable. Thank you.
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You made that bearable. Thank you.

Thank You
You're doing awesome.
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You're doing awesome.

Support
You should be so fucking proud.
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You should be so fucking proud.

Celebration
I am so proud of you I peed myself.
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I am so proud of you I peed myself.

Support
How the fuck did you do that?
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How the fuck did you do that?

Admiration
How are you so awesome?
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How are you so awesome?

Admiration
Fuck this.
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Fuck this.

Anger
This really fucking sucks.
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This really fucking sucks.

Anger
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
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What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Anger
FUCK
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FUCK

Anger
Without you posting memes, I wouldn’t have anything to read.
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Without you posting memes, I wouldn’t have anything to read.

Friendship
You won't be home tonight.
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You won't be home tonight.

Valentine's Day
Fuck the fuckers.
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Fuck the fuckers.

Valentine's Day
I hope your new house isn't haunted.
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I hope your new house isn't haunted.

Moving
Pizza, please.
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Pizza, please.

Food
Aliens, please.
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Aliens, please.

Aliens
Has Mars attacked yet?
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Has Mars attacked yet?

Aliens
Happy World Space Week to the one person who is truly out of this world.
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Happy World Space Week to the one person who is truly out of this world.

Happy World Space Week
Let's get outta here.
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Let's get outta here.

Romance
Dear Grandma, Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hope you don't die, but I'll be rich when you do.
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Dear Grandma, Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hope you don't die, but I'll be rich when you do.

Grandparents
Dear Grandpa, I love you. I just need you to be a little less racist.
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Dear Grandpa, I love you. I just need you to be a little less racist.

Grandparents
For Grandparents' Day, I hope you remember that I am your favorite.
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For Grandparents' Day, I hope you remember that I am your favorite.

Grandparents
Happy Grandparents' Day! Congratulations on figuring out how to open this eCard!
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Happy Grandparents' Day! Congratulations on figuring out how to open this eCard!

Grandparents